The ‘why’ behind what i do- My first birth story
With my first I was in a similar position to what you are now whilst reading this story. I didn’t know what birth was going to entail and truthfully, I thought I knew everything I needed to know from my midwife appointments and the 3 hour NHS antenatal class I did. I thought hypnobirthing was bullshit (sorry for the language) and that I didn’t need to learn the techniques for birth because it would just happen how it was meant to happen.
In hindsight, I wish I could go back 7 years and tell my younger self just how wrong I was!
My water’s broke at approximately 1am Saturday 19th January. We instantly called maternity day care and was asked to go in to be checked over. We were so excited and knew we would meet our baby soon. When we arrived, the midwife gave me an examination (something I didn’t know I could accept or decline) and told me that my water’s had broken but I hadn’t started dilating or contracting so I needed to go home. She told me I needed an induction and booked me in to be induced Monday 21st January (over 48 hours after my waters had broken). I was also told to go back in if I started having approximately three contractions every ten minutes. I felt so disheartened to be going home after getting my hopes up (little did I know that home would be the best environment to get my oxytocin flowing).
We went home and tried to go back to bed and get some sleep. I couldn’t get back to sleep because my contractions had started so we went downstairs to watch TV. We watched WALL-E (don’t ask why) and I drifted in and out of sleep in between my contractions. In the morning we decided to go shopping for our hospital snacks. I was having contractions in the shop, which really excited us. Once we got home, we continued to watch TV, eat snacks and I bounced on my birthing ball. Once the contractions reached three in ten minutes, we called maternity day care, who told us we could go back in. This was it we thought!
At hospital, I was examined once more and told I was 4cm dilated (whoop)! The exact words of the midwife were
“Congratulations, you’re 4cm dilated, you can now have pain relief, what would you like?”
What?? I look back now and think about just how leading this question is. She automatically assumed I would want pain relief. No ‘mention of natural remedies I could try first like breathing, birth pool or a tens machine, just the assumption that I needed pain relief.
I said I didn’t need any yet and asked for a birth ball. I sat on the ball until I couldn’t manage the contractions anymore so asked for entonox (gas and air). I wasn’t using it properly so it made me feel sick and I had to stop using it. I then asked for a different pain relief and was offered pethidine. This made me very sleepy.
After a while, I was told I needed to move from the beautiful birthing suite I was in up to the labour ward because I ‘needed’ antibiotics since it had been over 24 hours since my waters broke. I didn’t feel as comfortable on this ward but my labour continued to progress slowly. I drifted in and out of consciousness because of the pethidine but can remember being told it was time to push. I had a burst of adrenaline and actively pushed for what felt like hours.
But something was wrong. My baby wasn’t in the right position so he was stuck. Now I look back at this and think about my birth positions. I started on all fours but was told to move onto my back. Is that why my baby was stuck, because I wasn’t allowing gravity to do it’s thing? The room suddenly filled with tons of people and a consultant told me I needed to have an instrumental delivery or emergency caesarean. I knew I didn’t want the latter so agreed to try an instrumental delivery. They waved some paperwork in front of me which I had to sign drugged up and away with the fairies. I was then prepped as if I was going in for surgery and had a spinal block.
It was a strange experience because I was told to push and felt my body needed to push even though I couldn’t feel anything. On the third push (pull with forceps) Zachary was born and placed on my chest. I’d done it. My husband praised and kissed me. I couldn’t hold Zachary for long and asked Matthew to take him because I felt sick and dizzy and couldn’t sit up to look at Zachary properly. I can just remember looking at my husband as he held him.
Now Matthew has a very different experience of this moment. One that was quite traumatic for him to watch. I was hemorrhaging from the trauma. Matthew kept smiling at me but deep down he was terrified. Thankfully I had a wonderful senior doctor that stopped the bleeding before it was enough for a blood transfusion. We were taken to recovery where they sat me up and I could finally hold Zachary properly for the first time.
Key takeaways from my story:
-If your water’s break you still have time. Time to rest, eat and prepare.
-Know about pain reliefs and their side effects.
-Attempting to birth on your back can lead to baby being in a difficult position for birth.
-If you can’t read the paperwork, get birth partner to do it for you.
-Understand what an instrumental delivery is and what it involves.
-How important the ‘golden hour’ is for you and for baby.
-Birth partner’s can be impacted by birth trauma too!
